Evaluate Your Anger Situation

We get angry when we come to the conclusion that something is wrong.  It happens like this:

1. Something happens (trigger situation)
2. I think about it in a certain way (trigger thought)
3. I conclude that there is an injustice (something is not fair or wrong)
4. Because of this injustice I feel victimized (taken advantage of, devalued, or not heard)
5. When I feel this way I get angry.

But how do I know if my conclusion is correct?  Just because I conclude that there is an injustice doesn’t actually mean that there is one.  Just beause I think I have been wronged doesn’t mean that I actually have.  I have worked with clients who were furious about something that wasn’t an injustice, and others that were not upset when there really was an injustice.

Sometimes there is a legitimate wrong.  But other times, it is just the way that I am looking at it.  And if is important to handle the situation different depending on if there is a real wrong or not.

Obviously, this is a ver important distinction to make when evaluating your situation and thinking through your anger.